Wednesday

It's Been a While...

It's been a while and today I was just sitting in front of my laptop and thought - I really feel like typing, so I'm writing another post since the other typing I have to do involves a case I'm trying to convince myself will just go away if I ignore the file teetering on my kitchen counter.
I have a cute and adorable dog who does this thing where he shoves his face under a newspaper or shirt and then, apparently, assumes that since it doesn't see me, I can't see him - even though the rest of his body is in clear view and his tale is banging against the floor. So I'm hoping if I ignore that annoying, and yet beckoning, file in my kitchen - it will somehow sprout legs and walk out the door.
Some cases are just too tiring and it's not that this one is hopeless but it's one of those things where you don't know where to begin and so you try to avoid beginning it at all.
Yeah... I'm going to stop typing and go over the file right now... *sigh*

Jane M.

Thursday

I Can't Concentrate

I do a lot of reading, a lot of paper work... it's part of my job. Today I arrived at the office a bit early and started going over the case files that were on my desk and, multi-tasker that I am, went through my emails as well. I won't get into detail but one of the emails was sent to me in confidence, I was BCC-ed on a co-worker's response and I just got chills down my spine. I tried to convince myself that it's nothing and that they wouldn't show me this if they didn't have my back. Still, I can't focus on my tasks, I can't concentrate, and worst of all - I'm MAD.
I'm rarely ever mad, I just don't know how to deal with this emotion. My heart rate goes up, my body starts shaking and I feel like I'm going to explode. And for what? A good for nothing piece of crap who thinks he's better than me because he went to a better university. Bottom line is, I'm smarter than he is and it pisses me off that a person with a single digit IQ who had the connections and cash to go to Harvard gets the nerve to send an email to my co-worker telling him that I should be fired because he just doesn't think a person with my "background" should be in such a popular firm. He might as well have said "She's black and she's a woman, let her go."

Men piss me off enough as it is, but a racist man... wow. I hope karma comes and bites him in the ass. In the meantime, he better pray to God we never face each other in court.

Jane out.